When people ask us “how is married life?” both of us would say “it’s about the same.” And while not many things in our day to day lives have changed since the wedding, something has definitely changed in our relationship. Though it’s continued to change since our wedding, I think it started before we said I do. I think it started when I said yes.
For the first time we were a team. Prior to that it was team Mike and I was the head cheerleader and team Jo with Mike as the head cheerleader. We were very much on the same page and supportive of each other’s goals and dreams but for the most part we each did our own thing and came together after.
Planning our wedding was the first major project we ever worked on together in a way that required us to really be a united front. Even searching for an apartment and moving to DC together wasn’t that big of a deal in this sense because that really only involved the two of us. We went and looked at apartments, decided which one we liked best, put money down, and signed a lease. Easy. Peasy.
But planning a wedding is a whole ‘nother ball game. Though I didn’t realize this when I started planning, our wedding wasn’t only about the two of us. Our parents were major stakeholders in the day as well. And then we had family, friends, and other guests to worry about too. And vendors.
All of these people had opinions about our wedding from reception location and the weather to groomsman attire and food. We had to consider what we wanted and work as a team to make our vision come to life while taking into account all the other people and their thoughts. We had to advocate for what we wanted as individuals as well as what we wanted as a couple. And we had to be gracious in turning down other people’s ideas.
This was the first time we interacted as a unit and made decisions together and reported out to our families. It went from this is what I want or this is what Mike’s up to to this is what we think is best.
There were budgets to balance, updates to give, vendor meetings, orders to place, details to coordinate. Oh, and vows to write and a ceremony to create and personalize to reflect our values and our love.
This was a pretty cool thing. It was challenging at times, sure, but it only prepared us for life ahead.